Nicole Michelle

2009-10-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

About a month and a half ago I quit my job ( and that's a whole other long story). I was out of work for 3 1/2 weeks.

I went from office secretary sticking stamps and writing reports to teaching two years enrolled in Mothers Day out and part time sales at anthropologie.

And while I'm now a lot busier and not making as much money, I could absolutely not be happier.

I started out subbing for the ones, then twos, then four year olds, then back to the ones, but now I'm a permanent teacher of the twos. The kids are finally adjusting and learning their routine. They know the words to some of the songs or at least can mumble the melody.

I dont know if there's anything more rewarding than seeing a two year old learn to fold his hands and bow his head.

Jazz

2009-08-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

"Jesus had this amazing idea that if you mix class lines, they tend to dissolve. That if we fall in love with someone’s heart, they are no longer homeless in our eyes, but become family. It’s a beautiful transition that happens when we take the time to extend ourselves to those whom we are “most afraid” of . If you were to take a group of kids from the ghetto camping in the woods, they would be terrified of every sound, praying not to get eaten by a bear. If we were to take a group of suburban kids to the ghetto, the same would happen (replacing the bear with a gunshot). We are all so afraid of what we don’t know, and sadly, we are usually more afraid of our preconceived ideas of that fear than we are of the “fear” itself. "

Dear New Friend,

2009-06-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know you.
Yes, we met a while ago,
but you see, new friend,
I know nothing of your past,
like were you ever kicked out of UIL spelling in the 4th grade, because you couldn't spell breakfast?
Or maybe you were unexpectedly kissed in front of a huge crowd of people during your 11th grade musical?
I dont know,
but I need to,
because who you were then made you who you are today.

Recap

2009-06-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

Since last time I have:

...been the recipient of an italian metro ticket
...discovered the best way to enjoy a cappucino
...had an anniversary
...experienced the worst airline flight ever
...gotten a new job
...called 911
...found a new love
...renewed an old passion
...re-started school
...relaxed on a beach by myself
...recorded some new music
...met my monthly book quota
...not met my monthly book quota
...placed 5th in a triathlon
...failed a series 65 test
...leased a new apartment

Bring it 2nd half 2009

Separation Anxiety

2009-02-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

Here's a brief overview of Monday:

After spending a weekend in Naples and Pompeii, Melissa and I traveled to Salerno to do some research. We had no idea what was in store for the day. After the little motorbike incident we decided to catch the next train to Naples and then leave that same night for Rome. In a brief summary we were fined by some metro police, almost missed our train to Rome and were up for almost 24 hours. It was by far the most hectic day so far; but looking back I'm proud of how we handled it.

I'm beginning to cherish the dull moments, and I'm having to learn to cherish my time here. I'm homesick and yesterday was rough; and there will be more days like that ahead.

My time here reminds me a lot of when I first moved into my apartment. I was lonely a lot of the time, but that time passed and I really began to become my home. And that gives me hope for my stay here.

My prayer is to see the big picture. I don't know why the heck I was called here, but I was, and that wasn't by mistake. And before long that question will be answered.

It's ok to cry, and sometimes thats just what you need.

thanks for all the prayers.

"Rejoice in the Lord Always, and again I say Rejoice"

2009-01-31T06:28:00.000-08:00

I love italian. While I still know very little, getting to use the smallest bits is great. I've bought a metro ticket, saline solution, and given two people directions in broken fragments, but I'm all about celebrating victory in the small things. Thats a great lesson I took away from Paris, rejoice in the smallest accomplishments.

I've celebrated turning on the stove, unlocking our door, successful trips to the store and post office, and falling asleep despite the constant traffic noises.

2009-01-28T09:06:00.000-08:00

I feel like its been months since I've last posted an update, but it really has only been a few weeks. The mass of emotion and traveling are probably to blame.

I'm settled into my apartment, unpacked and enjoying the beauty of Rome. I've made some new friends and already had to say goodbye to them, but the ones I need are right here. I'll be here, in contact for the next two weeks; learning the metro and what the heck to buy at the grocery store. I was hesitate about what to expect, but I'm learning to trust.

There's so many stories I have already, but really, no room to write them. Email me, I can always call on skype...which I just rediscovered...

Right now I'm reading through the book of Acts, and once I finish that I will move straight to Romans, fitting ain't it ;)

A study of the early church is what every southern baptist needs.

a tarde,

He's got the whole world in His hands

2009-01-04T05:30:00.000-08:00

I am convinced that God is truly in control. By opening doors and giving opportunities. By taking away those same opportunities and giving news ones. By perfectly matching the people we meet from our personalities all the way to our piercings. If our prayers are perfectly aligned with His will, I believe He will go above and beyond what we ask of Him.

Two weeks till I leave. Lately, stress would probably be the only emotion I would describe feeling; maybe add to that doubt, confusion and worry. While trying to convince myself that everything was going to work out, I realized that I alone could not change my attitude. So that's, solely, been my focus in my quiet time. And with a little extra prayer, I've seen such a change in my attitude.

I'm so excited, and actually believe that everything WILL be ok. And I would have never gotten to this point without the encouragement of my family.

"It's going to be good and hard and scary, but mostly good."

of that I am convinced.

Three Weeks

2008-12-30T20:14:00.001-08:00

Ahhh Christmas.

Three weeks left until I leave
Three weeks left of work,
Three weeks left of my recurring packing nightmare.

Dec 16, 2008

2008-12-16T20:03:00.000-08:00

I struggle with love. The concept seems foreign, unreachable. Yes, this world has warped love into an emotion which comes and goes, as often as the day turns to dawn...but is that the reason?

Am I to blame the world I live in for my struggle as a christian to love everyone?

I think that's too easy. We're commanded to love everyone...but how? How do I love people I don't know? And why would God command it if were not possible?

The love God has for me is unexplainable, so I won't even try. Until I can love Him in that same way, I can't expect to love others like that. I guess it all comes down to the point at which we finally exercise that same love for God and realize how perfect his creation is, how wonderful each person is he created. Will I ever reach that point on earth? Maybe, maybe not, but I guess that's where sanctification comes in.

I hope to learn a lot more about this during this next semester; exploring new cultures and new people. I read a book this past weekend about crossing over cultures and how to accept things that are foreign to you. I need to read it again since apparently I can't remember any points it made. But it was good, I do remember that :)

I now have my itinerary; I leave for Frankfurt Jan. 19 and then fly to Paris on the 20th. Coming back I leave the 15th of June and then get back the 16th.

The End Should be in Sight

2008-11-18T06:09:00.000-08:00

Every semester it happens, by now you'd think I'd be used to it. Work, school, and the basic chores of every day life build up and before long I wonder how I got so far behind. My weekends become filled with catch up of the previous week, italian lessons, grocery shopping, and church. I'm two weeks away from completing my Associates degree, and I couldn't feel farther away. Projects and papers make up a long to-do list, and the more it grows, the less motivated I feel to do anything.

I was reminded this morning of a song, "In Christ Alone." It's based on Ps.62:5-6:

"5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;

my hope comes from him.

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."

This doesn't lessen the pile of dishes in the sink, or even motivate me to finish everything tonight. But, it does remind me that my rest is not found in the few hours of sleep I get each night, and motivation does not lie in the coffee I drink in the morning. My hope rests solely on the God of Creation, and that truth is more than enough.

2008-10-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Curse the practicality and convienent location of my local Kroger. On my biweekly excursion to the grocery store I intend to roam the halls of HEB, but the extra two miles and throngs of people always daunt me and I break down and head to that building of disorganized clutter and goods, some dare call a grocery store.

This has happened the past two times I've gone grocery shopping, and while some wouldn't care much about it, I happen to hate it.

I look down at my cart, and into my hands holding two large reusable grocery bags, with uncertainty as to whether all of my groceries will fit. I grab a extra smaller bag off the shelf to my left, just in case. I hand the cashier my basket and bags, which he then proceeds to hand to the bagger. ( Side note: I try to always get a teenage boy cashier, for one reason: they are lazy. Have an item without a barcode? Most likely they'll just give it to you, rather than spend the extra time finding the price. Is it moral? ah, we'll decide later.) I pay for my groceries and watch as the girl bags my groceries. ..

With room in two of the three remaining bags, she puts ONE half gallon of milk in a plastic bag. Girl do you not realize I bought an extra bag just so that wouldn't happen?

Psalm 51

2008-10-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today has been a flood of emotion.

I recieved an email from Chris in Rome, he'll be my go to guy for the trip. Pray for him. I will continue to update you as I recieve his emails. I'll be living in an apartment in Italy, where I will be based with my partner, for part of the trip. My orientation will be in Paris, and debreifing will be in London, tentatively....

As I scanned his email my heart was bursting in my chest. If I hadn't been at work I'll probably would have been jumping up and down... But once I read it more carefully I realized orientation and debriefing where not originally calculated in the length of the trip. I'll be gone for nearly five months, not four. With that news, my heart gained a few pounds...

I also received an email from my partner, Melissa. Sh lives in Austin, which is perfect since i'm there all the time. Pray for her and our relationship.

I like to think of myself as very independent, but toughness aside, I'm going to miss home. Communication is vital for me. But God knew this, and He is gracious. I will have a phone and internet access in my apartment. When I'm not there I will have access to the internet through wireless cafes. So everyone, familiarize yourself with Skype :)

Today, this trip became a reality for me, and emotions are hard to sort at times; but it's these times that I cherish the most. At the foot of the cross...where grace and suffering meet.

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to you. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, The God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness." - Ps 51:12-14

Meet Adero

2008-10-07T10:27:00.001-07:00

I have a pen pal. She's six years of age and doesn't even speak english. It takes about two months for our letters to get through customs and into the other's hands. It's an unconventional relationship, and having never seen her, an unlikely one.

I've been sponsoring Adero for a little over a year now. I've sent and received a few letters and pictures, even some masterful artwork, but I still find myself wondering, "who is this girl?" And i hate to think, but she knows even less about me.

Sending money isn't enough. One day we will meet and I often think of that day, whether is be on this earth or in heaven above.

One small step for God, one giant leap for me

2008-10-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

The weather's been amazing lately. Sometimes I feel like God forgets about our humidity dial, but not this week. Fall is here and it brings with it sweet relief. My heart is aching right now with thoughts of the previous year and the future months in Italy. I turned in my intent to vacate my apartment at the very last minute and with much hesitation. My lease will come to an end on Dec 1 and while I thought of doing a month-to-month lease, the fact of the matter is that I can not afford it. I'm going to try to sub lease for the months of December and January. I'm praying God will provide a place for me.The first three months I hated it here. Not knowing anyone, feeling alone, and annoyed every friday night when the bass turned up and the booze went down... Now I love it. The huge trees that remind of one of my favorite books, Anne of Green Gables, the guy who sits on his porch, plays guitar, and sings in the most awful voice I've ever heard, even the ridiculously tan man who lays by the pool and stares at himself while flexing his muscles....really, whats not to love? Needless to say the past year has been hard, but oh so great. And now that I've finally gotten used to the change that came so abruptly, it's time to move on.

The past week, my mind has been filled with doubt about Italy. I'm nervous about what I will do when I get back. Nervous about quitting my job, and about finding health insurance that I can afford after I get out of school. Nervous about where I will live and what the heck I'll be doing when I get back. What if I hate it, I'm stuck there for four months no matter what.

I'm afraid of uncertainty and that's why I am here... at this point... in my life. So I will learn to not lean on my own understanding, but to step out in faith in the One who made me, who sustains me.

On a side note, pray for my amazing friend Michelle who is appling to be a journey for the International Mission Board. I haven't talked to her lately, but she has been on my heart a lot.

It's raining, It's pouring

2008-09-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

So I came home yesterday to find this:

Yep, that's my ceiling and that is water... That pot was completely full...

A pipe busted in the apartment above mine; therefore, mine flooded. Thanks to Jordan, it wasn't too bad. He definitely saved the day :)

I've never eaten so many kolaches...

2008-09-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

This tree was probably the worst. It uprooted and then ripped off this balcony.
And then begin the lines...

Do you even see the gas station????

The first place to get power...Westco

Heatin' up his Westco.

Reunions, Routines, and Recycling

2008-09-22T06:55:00.001-07:00

After 8 days without power, it's returned along with my routine.

I ended up going to Austin during the hurricane and I'm so glad I did. After several weeks without talking to my best friend, C, and several months of not seeing her, this mini-vacation was quite refreshing. Another friend,G, came along too...I feel a little embarrassed about my last blog, G evacuated from Corpus to Houston and then evacuated from Houston to Austin( since the storm couldn't make up its mind). I had it pretty easy... I realized how much I missed these girls, and any girlfriends for that matter. For the past year, I've been without a close girlfriend here at home, and not that it's been too much of a bother for me, but it's something I wouldn't object to having.

Praise God that my friends and family were kept safe through the storm. No damage to my apartment or my parents home. There were a few trees that fell in my apartment complex and I'll post some pictures later. I got a few days off work and in those few days I met some of my neighbors. Since I've moved in I've only met a few people and they're people I wouldn't want to hang around with. You can see this by the nick names I've given them...creepy guy, weird dog man, and old man ( old man may not sound bad, but I haven't seen his wife in a while; if something starts smelling, I'll be the first to call the cops) Nevertheless, the people on my corner are extremely nice. Theres a couple across the walk from me that we played skip bo and bar b qued with. I'm glad the power is back, but I'm glad it took a little break.

Last but not least.......I've started recycling. So has my mom. My family is becoming more and more enviromentally conscious. Now me, my parents, and both my aunts are active recyclers! Just gotta get the rest on board.

2008-09-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a planner. I hate when things don't work out as planned, and this week has been a great example...

My weekends are always crazy. It's the only time I have off work, so I usually cram as many errands into Saturday that I can. This weekend was going to be especially busy: I planned to drive to austin and meet up with some friends on Friday and stay the night. Then, I was going to come back to houston on saturday. I have italian on saturday, so I pushed back my lesson to 4:00, that way on my way home, I could do that. I take italian downtown, which is a pretty good drive, so this was going to work out well; I wouldn't have to drive downtown twice. After that I had a Night of Worship at my church, so on my way home, I'd do that.

I was pretty proud of my efficent plan. And then Ike happened.

Why?Why?Why???

Probably because God likes to shack things up a bit. I don't like that. I'm a little upset with Him right now.

So upset I dont want to play on Saturday, and I don't really care if I let the rest of the band down.
So upset, I snapped at J yesterday when he told me I shouldn't go, even if he just wants me to be safe.

just so upset.

2008-09-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

After about 10 months of living in my apartment I realized I had never taken any pictures of it. Then, after 10 minutes of taking pictures I realized the lighting in my apartment sucks. So here's a few that turned out ok...

Dear Ambrose Bierce...I'd marry you if you were alive today.

jewelry tree

james avery

Um, Who's not happy when they're naked???

Where the music is made...

Ciao!

2008-09-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

I had my first Italian lesson saturday. I found a tutor that only is charging me $15 a lesson, which is such a blessing!

I don't know why I decided to take lessons. Sometimes I have these brilliant ideas, that soon turn into what was i thinking ideas... I don't have a mind to learn different languages. I hated spanish, and only by the grace of God did I pass with a C. Maybe this will be different. I have motivation to learn this time.

That being said, I did learn a sentence: Cameriere, un bicciarre d'acqua, por favore.
translation: Waiter, a glass of water please.

I figure I'll need one a lot.

Tear Stained Peaches

2008-08-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

After losing my last journal in the African wilderness, I've decided this time around to try blogging...

One year after coming back from Uganda (and hating it) I long to see that African sky. About three weeks ago, I was sitting on my living room floor eating peaches. I had a friend get back from Africa a few months ago, and after reading some of his poetry, tears came to my eyes. The desire to be back in Africa, or at least back on the mission field was overwhelming...

but God is faithful
and answers the cries of His people's hearts

So next Febuary through June I will be backpacking through Italy gathering enthnograhic data that the IMB will use for future missions trips. It's not Africa, but I have faith that one day I'll go back.

I don't have all of the information right now, there will be more soon.
~Nicole Michelle